Feeling dull

The title says it all. I feel dull, boring, unoriginal and fairly useless. Please don't mistake this as a plea for compliments or a way to boost my ego. I'm just telling you how I feel.

Had a day of thinking about my course on Wednesday which made me feel better about it but strangely at the same time a whole lot worse. I have competences to complete: they're the "putting the theory into practice" evidence part of the course that give the JNC professional qualification that makes your hourly rate go through the roof. Looking at one in particular really helped make it seem really acheivable. BUT I have to do my placement which is 120 hours. On the form I've put I'll have it completed by November which means that I need to do 5 hours a week on this placement (excluding August). I really don't know how I'm going to fit it in. That's on top of essay writing and I have things like doing a community profile. It all feels too much. I feel like I can't complete it so what is the point of trying, which is wrong of course but that's how you cope with potential work overload. Bury your head in the sand syndrome!

And I feel dull. I have no sparkle and any sparkle I do have, actually isn't really sparkly. I feel like I have been kidding myself. I wish I could express what the feeling is but the words aren't coming. I'm so dull. I'm not the person I want to be. Arggghhh!